Way Past Tense.
By Aanchal Sheth ’23. Art by Alex Park ’23.
“Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful.”
But does that make it easier to watch the sun set?
I still pray that the sun stays in front of me.
Maybe it won’t leave this time,
Or at all.
But it leaves and I am in the dark.
And it’s almost less painful than watching the sun disappear.
And I know that it will rise again.
And I know that it’ll never be like it was before.
Why are endings so difficult?
Why does everything have to end,
When it is much easier to pretend
That we’ll last forever
It makes me afraid to move too close,
To hug too tight
Laugh too much
Or smile to bright
Because if I close my eyes for a second longer,
The sun left without a trace too.
And as much as I’m told to live in this moment,
Because the fear of absence,
It blinds me.
I can’t leave things behind me.
So don’t ask me why I squeezed your hand too tight,
Why my eyes turn glassy when you talk about the future,
Why that hug lasted longer than it usually does,
Why I can’t
Because I have no answers to give you.